& Sexual Behaviors
Sexual Behaviors that feel out of control
Sex can be an amazing part of life. It can help us connect with our partners, feel good in our bodies, relieve stress and even increase longevity.
Sometimes, we can find ourselves engaged in sexual behaviors that don't leave us feeling good. Maybe you are here because you have experienced shame after a sexual act or fantasy. Maybe you are have found yourself engaging in sexual behaviors that make you feel unsafe or devalued. You might be here after waking up someplace that feels unsafe, or after experiencing situations within a relationship that don't feel safe sexually.
I believe that a joyful, empowered, and embodied sex life is our birthright. I specialize in helping people like you define a healthy sex life on your own terms.
Sometimes pornography use can feel out out of control. For some, it can feel like it is spilling over into all areas of life. Maybe you're here because you've found yourself losing time you'd rather be spending relaxing or connecting with loved ones. Maybe you have found yourself looking at pornography on your lunch break. Maybe it is affecting your ability to have erections or to enjoy sex with a partner.
By the time you’ve reached this website, you’ve probably tried to manage your relationship with pornography on your own. If you have talked to loved ones, they might not understand or know how to help. I provide experienced and effective treatment for pornography use that feels out of control. You don't have to work through this alone.
Sexual anxiety or avoiding sex
Sometimes sex and intimacy are overwhelming. They might bring up chaotic or unsettling feelings that we'd rather not deal with. We might have fears related to sexual performance or fears about what might happen if we allow ourselves to be present in our bodies.
I have extensive experience supporting individuals who have grown up with rigid, judgmental messages about sex and experience deep shame related to experiencing sexual pleasure. I also support individuals who have experienced sexual trauma or other unwanted sexual experiences. I help people identify boundaries for increased safety, strategies for symptom relief, and clarity to experience intimacy on your own terms.
"Checking out" during sex, not feeling present
If we are overwhelmed or have experienced trauma, we may find it difficult to stay present during physical intimacy. Maybe a partner has commented that you seem distant or detached. Maybe you find yourself stuck in your to-do list (groceries, laundry, kids) during sex. Maybe you are so focused on how you look or are "performing" that you aren't able to get in touch with your own pleasure. Maybe you really want to connect with your partner, but can't seem to figure out how to do so in a way that feels safe.
My practice is grounded in helping you identify your own boundaries, understanding enthusiastic consent, and coping with relational triggers so you can have the sex life that you want.
Relationships with a person who has a sexual behavior problem
Loving someone who is struggling with a sexual behavior concern is hard. Your usual support systems may have been disrupted by the behavior. The people you have turned to may not understand, may judge, or ask you why you have stayed. You might even feel uncomfortable talking about it in therapy.
Sexual behavior problems have a way of creating a "ripple effect."
Partners, parents, families, and friends may feel like "indirect victims" when a loved one acts out. I have worked with families who have been disrupted by sexual behaviors for over a decade. I understand how hard it can be. You don't have to work through it alone.